Please, Not Another Bloody Pilgrim Post 🦃
NOTE FROM NON-BORING HOUSE Going Cold Turkey for Thanksgiving, plus Kansas Gratitude For My Attitude
How Long is This Post? About 1,800 words, or 10 minutes
I usually stay out of my photos. But I thought you might like to see evidence that, yes, indeed, I was in these places! Here are some of Hoosen's snaps of me hard at work, during our recent travels. Yes, OK, it looks like me just taking pictures with my phone. That’s how I look when I’m hard at work. No, really. A.
Dear Nonnie Friend,
I know you’re a kind person. Please, please, don't make me write about Thanksgiving.
I'm begging now. Please don't hold me to last year’s promise to do a deep dive into the shallow waters of historical Thanksgiving this year. Maybe I'll write it in summer?
Look, proper grown-up adults with domestic responsibilities in America (am I still allowed to give a shout-out to women? Just checking.) are already crazy busy by this time of year. That's because Thanksgiving kicks off the deluge of all the other holidays. [UK readers: Thanksgiving is just like Xmas, even with turkey, so loads of work in the kitchen, but ruined because there are no presents, and all your relatives turn up, and you're expected to pretend to be visibly happy about this, while sober, with predictably gruesome results.]
Thanksgiving is followed by the Holy Festival of Bezos (blessed be the folks who drive the trucks and get no loo breaks), and then Hanukkah [ Non-Jewish readers: No, it’s not “Jewish Christmas”. Look, I’ll get in someone truly knowledgeable (paging
) to explain someday before I get myself an irritated and likely deserved letter from the Anti-Defamation League.]And then there’s Christmas (UK: Like ours, only less fun, usually no turkey, plus Americans shouting “Merry Christmas” and “Happy Holidays” at each other while hitting each other with shopping bags). Then Kwanzaa (UK An African-American holiday of recent vintage, just like every tradition, and a supplement to—not substitute— for Christmas among some black Americans, but not all, and… Look it up on Wikipedia, ok?), New Year's . . .
America is exhausting. I miss Britain at this time of year, where people of every religion, agnostics, and atheists wish each other a Happy Christmas, and we all know what we mean by that.
However . . . Here I am. Americans, have I missed your beloved winter holiday? Please let me know if so. I'm genuinely happy to hear from you. Not so keen on being Tweeted at by Influencer, er, I mean, Political Activist/Ally Who You Don't Actually Want Next to You at Meetings Jamey Performative (formerly James Apathetic III of Upper Suburbia, New Jersey, graduate of St. Expensive Prep School and Evenmore-Pricey College).
Oh, Twitter is in danger of vanishing from the face of the Earth, is it? Goodness gracious. In the immortal words of Sgt. Major Williams from 1970s BBC:
But I digress. What the heck did I mean to write about? Oh, yes. Begging you for a postponement of writing about Thanksgiving.
An Important Bulletin from the Gnomes of Non-Boring House
ATTENTION, BEWILDERED NEW READERS OF NON-BORING HISTORY: It’s only like this some of the time. She’s really a historian, even has a PhD and publications. Look, she’s a bit tired, ok? Proper history happens here, because we Gnomes see to it. Now, back to Annette.
Honestly, I’m grateful for your sympathy: Pivoting from Annette Travel Mode, after two months on the road, to Annette Translating Historians Mode, is challenging at the best of times, but it's complicated by seasonal responsibilities.
I don’t just mean shopping, although that. And yes, I'm in charge of turkey wrangling, as Official Turkey Wrangler, Pie Roller, and Potato Masher at Non-Boring House. Before you suspect I’m oppressed, Hoosen is Table-Layer and Washer Up. And yes, okay, he does everything else year round. Hoosen Jr. mysteriously opted (with our blessing) to stay put in Washington, DC this year rather than go through the travel hell, dishwashing and maternal meltdowns that accompany returning home for Thanksgiving.
What's actually complicating my normal breakneck schedule is this: Not only am I swept up in pre-holiday hysteria joy, but I’m also in the thick of firing off emails and paperwork, as I juggle plans to speak in schools in the New Year. If you want your students, kid, or grandchild, in on that, give me a shout from the contact form on my website, AnnetteLaing.com.
If you are someone who can’t get enough NBH in your life (mwah! love you!) I offer you an encore of my hot take on Thanksgiving’s Ground Zero from last year's visit to Mayflower HQ, Plymouth, Massachusetts. Although I didn't address the complicated and loopy history of Thanksgiving, I hope it provides a little helpful context for anyone wondering if what Americans learn as kids about New England by dressing as “Pilgrims”, Indians, or, indeed, turkeys, has any actual basis in reality. Hint: Hahahahaha. Snort {pours self whisky}
Gratitude for My Attitude
I have follow ups on my two brief stops in Kansas which have both left this mouthy but basically well-meaning Brit a teensy bit chagrined. Let's start with the small town of Girard, which, you will recall, turned out to have an unexpected history of international importance.